Before I studied what I’m teaching. I used to think that I was different, no body understood my attitude, my stress, my anxiety.
I used to feel that life was hard and unfair. I would get depressed with having to fight and be strong in every situation. But
the more I started to hear the words I was saying and the words I was hearing the more I understood that my language held the key to how I was feeling.
As I started to understand, the happier I felt.
You see, my internal voice would make judgments, criticisms , and comparisons and I would never question it’s value. I would just except the consequences, because this was me! Not my internal voice. I made my decisions in life! All this therapy stuff wasn’t for me i knew my mind and that was it.
Take a tennis ball the name is referenced to the object but what about words like focus, determination , or performance. You see unlike this tennis ball these are words that have different means to different people and the value of that meaning again alters with every situation. If you can understand the value of the word to you and also understand it’s value to another person, you can then protect yourself from any bad feelings that may come with certain words.
In today’s world of facebook, twitter and other social media all too often things are typed and they can mean something different to the reader. this is because it has to be understood by the person reading it, without any body language and tonality so can easily be misunderstood.
Intangible means you can’t grab hold of, so when you hear an intangible word either internally or externally remember that you could be giving value to that word or words . You see the value is represented in feelings, how does it make you feel. If you are doing anything like competing and you allow negative words or your internal voice to judge or criticise, this then leads to negative intangible words that guide your feeling, so then you could by default be aiding your competition.
This happens a lot in football. You see a player gives away a free kick or penalty because their internal voice has made a judgement and acted on feeling. When you consider the top players playing for Manchester United, Chelsea or Liverpool being paid a high salary for a high pressured job or any athlete. Imagine a coach or manager going to his top player and saying ” right we are going to go out there and make the game a little more difficult then it needs to be. What i want you to do is give the other team 2 free kicks and a penalty” Now you can image how stupid that sounds. But think of a game where one player has lost is control and acted on his internal voice without considering the value of the words he has used to make a bad tackle.
We can all be victims of our own thoughts, and we rarely questions ourselves or consider the values of our words. Take a swear word “Fuck” it is used by people in different situations and different ways. When it is used we personally give value to it, and can relate to it because of a situation or context. When you think about your words think about are they supportive or are they just critical. Supportive is good, being critical is not.
Remember a time when you were critical to yourself, notice how unproductive your internal self talk was, even being highly analytical with yourself seldom reveals productive support .